What is Success?
I was chatting with a friend a couple of days ago and we somehow got onto the discussion of what makes you successful. As in, when can you turn around in your life and declare that YOU are successful? Is it measured by money or a feeling? It really got me thinking about how my view of success has done a 360 in the last year.
I was told a couple of years ago that I was an 'Achiever' personality match. Which let me tell you, came as a MASSIVE shock to me. I knew that I was driven and motivated by the things I was passionate about, but I had never really achieved anything big. When reading up about this personality type I realised that is wasn't really about physical achievements, it was about my brain always wanting more! It suddenly struck me that I was never happy with what I had done as I always wanted to go that next level. I was seeking 'success', can any of you relate? (Take the test yourself here https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/)
Having now known this about myself I became aware of how much pressure I was constantly putting myself under. I have NO idea before but I would push and push and push for the best. Not a perfectionist, but an 'Achiever'. I always needed more, and my brain wouldn't stop thinking about how I could get it.
The problem with this is that there was never an end. There would never be a place where I would be content, or call myself 'successful', no matter how much money I was earning. I had already started my own business, got myself loads of clients, launched my blog, written articles for many magazines and it still wasn't enough. Why is this?
Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I earning enough money?
- Have I reached my goals?
- Do I like the industry I am in?
- Do I like my relationships?
- Am I happy?
- Are others proud of me?
- Do others look up to me?
If more than two of these answers is 'No' then I can guarantee you are not satisfied. However, one huge thing I have learned is satisfaction comes from your own mind, it is not materialistic or physical. If you cant learn how to be satisfied with yourself then you never will be, no matter how successful on the outside you are.
How do we become successful within ourselves?
This isn't a switch you flick on and off, it takes time and being kind to yourself.
Step 1: Notice when you put pressure on yourself and stop. There is a time to work and work with that pressure, and then there is a time to turn of and be happy with what you have done that day. If you are freelance like me, I understand how hard this is to turn off, but you have to find some kind of distraction. I like to use 'headspace' to stop my mind. Or even write a list of what I'm grateful for that day.
- Step 2: Stop driving towards money. Now I know we all need to earn money to live and pay bills. However, sometimes when we are desperate for money it can ruin everything else in our lives. You can easily become tunnel visioned when thinking about money constantly. Also, money DOES NOT equal success. Even people with huge amounts of money are not always happy and feeling content. You need to find the right balance between being sensible and comfortable with how much you earn but not fixating on it. In actual fact as soon as you stop obsessing over it you may find that your finances get better.
Step 3: Work on self-love. If we don't feel happy within ourselves, there's no way you're going to feel satisfied with other aspects of your life. How we really feel about ourselves is SO CRITICAL to the way we live our life. I cant tell you the impact that not truly loving yourself has on the practical parts of your life. Have we all heard of the mind-body connection right? Well, if you are putting yourself down, it will show on the outside. Posture, body language, articulation, your energy all changes and will impact the way others see you. Really work hard on liking / loving yourself, accepting who you are and being grateful for what you have been given.
I hope that you can take something away from this post. Even if its learning something about yourself like I did a couple of years ago.
Love Georgie xxx